Ricky Gervais' Golden Globes Monologue and Jokes

Some found them funny, others extremely rude.  Here are links to Ricky Gervais' opening monologue and other jokes for Golden Globes 2011:

Gawker (Complete version):http://tv.gawker.com/5735192/watch-ricky-gervais-extremely-uncomfortable-golden-globes-monologue

CelebTV on Youtube:



Entertainment Weekly also has a compilation of his "rudest" Golden Globe jokes:

• "Welcome to a night of partying and heavy drinking.  Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast."
• "I'd like to quash this ridiculous rumor going around that the only reason The Tourist was nominated so the HFPA could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish. That is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes.” (That line is what presumably prompted the HFPA president to shoot back, “Ricky, next time you want me to help you qualify your movies, go to another guy.”)
• “Nothing for Sex and the City 2. I was sure the award for best special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster.”
• Introducing Bruce Willis as “Ashton Kutcher’s dad.”
• “Also not nominated, I Love You Phillip Morris, with Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay — the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists then.” Gervais added: “My lawyers helped me the wording of that joke.”

Gervais also introduced Robert Downey Jr. as someone better know for his stays "at the Betty Ford Clinic and the L.A. County Jail" than for his movie roles.  Downey retorted, "Aside from the fact that it's been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I'd say the show's going pretty good so far, wouldn't you?"

Golden Globes Awards 2011

Official Results:

*Robert De Niro received the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement in motion pictures.

FILM

Motion Picture Drama: The Social Network
Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: The Kids are All Right

Actor in a Motion Picture Drama: Colin Firth, The King's Speech
Actress in a Motion Picture Drama: Natalie Portman, The Black Swan

Actor in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Paul Giamatti, Barney's Version
Actress in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Annette Bening, The Kids are All Right

Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture: Christian Bale, The Fighter
Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture: Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Director: David Fincher, The Social Network
Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
Original Score: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, The Social Network
Original Song: "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" - Burlesque

Animated Feature Film: Toy Story 3
Foreign Language Film: In a Better World (Denmark)

TELEVISION

TV Drama Series: Boardwalk Empire
TV Musical or Comedy Series: Glee

Miniseries or TV Movie: Carlos

Actor in a TV Drama Series: Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Actress in a TV Drama Series: Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy

Actor in a TV Musical or Comedy Series: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Actress in a TV Musical or Comedy Series: Laura Linney, The Big C

Actor in a Mini-series or TV Film: Al Pacino, You Don't Know Jack
Actress in a Mini-series or TV Film: Clair Danes, Temple Grandin

Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-series, or TV Film: Chris Colfer, Glee
Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-series, or TV Film: Jane Lynch, Glee



Real-time Feed...

• Scarlett Johansson is first presenter for Best Supporting Actor. 
• Christian Bale wins Best Supporting Actor for The Fighter.  Michael Douglas, Andrew Garfield, Jeremy Renner, and Geoffrey Rush are other nominees.
• Is it just me or did Olivia Wilde look a bit like Keira Knightley in that get-up.
• Johnny Depp nominated twice in Best Performance in Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy for Alice in Wonderland and The Tourist.  Paul Giamatti wins the award.  Jake Gyllenhaal and Kevin Spacey also nominated.
• Natalie Portman wins Best Performance in Motion Picture - Drama, remarks about the Black Swan movie scene where her partner, Benjamin Millepied remarked that he wouldn't sleep with her.  And now she's pregnant with his child in real life.
• Ricky Gervais introducing Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, "... <mouthful of fine introduction about Tom Hanks accomplishments and awards> .....and the other is Tim Allen." Hilarious!
• Colin Firth wins Best Performance in a Motion Picture - Drama for The King's Speech.  Other nominees are James Franco, Ryan Gosling, Jesse Eisenberg, and Mark Wahlberg.
• Best Motion Picture to be announced soon by a "special guest." 
• Michael Douglas to present the Best Motion Picture award. He looks great and healthy despite the cancer bout.  Standing ovation. 
• Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The King's Speech, The Social Network are the nominees.
• The Social Network wins Golden Globe Best Motion Picture.
• For those wondering why Kevin Spacey is there on stage for Best Motion Picture award, he's an executive producer for The Social Network. 
• "Thank you to God, for making me an atheist." - Ricky Gervais